Make your senses happy

There are certain things that I always find comforting regardless of my mental state. They might conjure memories or just be inexplicably reassuring.

When having a panic attack they suggest focusing on one thing for each sense to bring you back. One thing you see, one you hear, one you smell, one you feel and one you taste.

Can the same use of senses lift us up when we are depressed?

Touch

For as long as even my parents can remember I have had a strong attachment to satin ribbons, the softer and silkier the better. Rubbing satin is very calming to me and as I child I collected anything I found that had that satin texture. I would suck my thumb and rub the “silky” to feel calm. I’ve long given up the thumb sucking, but even now I keep a few of the softest ribbons I collected in a draw. Just rubbing one between my thumb and forefinger gives me a feeling of peace.

Sound

The opening song to the little known film Cats Don’t Dance (it’s really hard to find but so worth seeing) is my go to “cheer up” sound. It’s an upbeat song and singing along to it always gives me a feeling that I can take on the world

Smell

This one was harder to think of, but the smell that comes to mind when I think of a happy feeling is hay. Specifically the warm hay smell of a guinea pig. We had many guinea pigs growing up, and although I was never as attached to them as some of our other pets, their warm hay smell is very comforting. Walking around a pet store, I always take a deep breath when I get to the rabbit/guinea pig area. That mix of hay, sawdust and animal just smells like happiness some how.

Sight

I’m doing these easiest to hardest and it’s a toss up between the final two. My initial answer was Bill Wurtz history of the entire world, I guess. A YouTube video that I have watched countless times to distract me, but I think that’s more the sing song nature of it (especially as I’m singing “the Cambrian explosion” to myself as I type) so I’m not going to count it as sight.

Instead I’m going to say two screen shots I’ve saved on my phone. I’ve had them years so I don’t know where they originate (sorry to original posters for not giving credit). They both cheer me up in different ways. The first gives me a feeling of inner strength, and the second just makes me smile.

I highly recommend saving little things like these on your phone for when you need a little pick me up.

Taste

I have an unhealthy relationship with food so this takes the cake (sorry couldn’t resist) for being the toughest to think of. What food would I always be happy to eat? I love chocolate, but it doesn’t make me happy per se.

I actually took a few days to think about it and the constant in my life, the thing that can make me eat things I hate – is ketchup. Good old tomato sauce. So although a little bit of it won’t relax me, it does give me the power to do things I can’t otherwise. That knowledge makes me happy in a different way to the others, but it is happiness.

What makes your senses happy?

It’s actually been interesting to compare how I feel with others. I asked my husband about his 5 choices and he had different ways of thinking. His touch was a good hug, and his sound was my laugh. I realised that I hadn’t included people anywhere in mine!

So what are your 5 choices? Can you use them to lift you up when you are down?

Positivity and Recovery

Last week I faced my fears and did a bit of public speaking. I did an hours session for 15 people from work about the importance of positivity. I was shocked by how much they all appreciated it.

I was raised a pessimist the way other people are raised as Christian, Hindu or Muslim. My mother’s mantra was always to expect the worst and be pleasantly surprised. However when I got ill, this outlook really held me back from recovery. I was frustrated and angry at my body for not working, and the distance between where I was and my goals seemed insurmountable and getting no closer each month.

It was once I started having talking therapies that I realised how much I was holding myself back. If I looked back at where I’d been a month ago instead of forwards to a distant goal, I could see a lot of progress. If I gave my body love and appreciation instead of hostility and anger my recovery was more noticeable.

So the tips I taught my colleagues were this:

Create positivity around you

By making an effort to be kind and polite to those around you, it makes it a nicer environment. That will lift you up. If you continue a cycle of negativity with a difficult person, you are really just dragging yourself down. Choose to be the kind of person you want to be around. Emulate the behaviours of people who make you feel happy.

Challenge your negative thoughts

We all are prone to assuming the worst, to worrying people think negatively about us, or to dreading an upcoming task. Particularly the thoughts about other’s disliking or judging us are easy to counter. We are all the centre of our own universe, and unless we are interacting with someone, we probably aren’t thinking about them. So if you trip over in public, or embarrass yourself in some way, remember that was a minute part of everyone else’s day even though it was massive to you!

When looking at an upcoming task you are worried about, think about how much you will learn from doing it, how much skill you are showing off, or how much the people you are doing it for appreciate it. Don’t put it off, you’ll only be fretting about it until it’s over, so embrace the challenge and dive in!

Be kind to yourself

When you are feeling down, imagine that all the negative thoughts are being said by someone you love. If they said those things about themselves you would comfort them, tell them how untrue those things are, how amazing they are. Don’t treat yourself any differently! You deserve all the kindness you give your loved ones. You deserve that love too. So be compassionate to yourself when you are feeling vulnerable.

Be grateful

Gratitude is a powerful tool, I could probably do a separate blog on it. The basic principle is this, don’t focus on the things that are making you unhappy. Before bed, or first thing when you wake up take a moment to think about the things in life you are grateful for, the things you are lucky to have. Many people don’t have the luxuries you do, so appreciate them instead of taking them for granted. By focusing on those amazing things or people you have in your life, you will give yourself a little positive boost to start or end your day with. It’s a simple trick to reverse your negative focus.

Taking Step One

When I’m having a bad day and my energy levels are low it often feels impossible to even think about being productive. Any task can feel huge when you look at it in that mood.

One of the best tips I’ve been given during the various therapies I’ve had during my recovery: Just plan to do 5 minutes of an activity.

If tidying up the living room seems like an insurmountable task, I tell myself “well I’ll do a tiny bit”, and once I’ve done that initial effort it’s only a short step to “well I’m here now, might as well do a little more ..” and before I know it the coffee table is clear and the pillows on the sofa are neatly placed.

If you imagine a car, when you start the engine it’s a lot of effort and noise from the car, then it settles into a steady purr. Your body is quite similar, getting started takes a spike of energy and once you are going it’s a lot less energy to maintain.

Worst case scenario, you’ve done 5 minutes of effort and can’t do more. Oh well that’s more than you thought you could do!

Often I wake up feeling like there’s no way I can make it to work. So I say “well let’s just do as far as we can body”, and I get dressed – still ok? – do more of my morning routine – don’t feel awful? – slow walk to the station etc etc. Even if I don’t make it the whole way into the office, or if I do but can’t stay long, it’s more than I thought I could do. I’ve exceeded my expectations and that feeling outweighs any bad feelings about not managing 100% of my goals.

One caution though – when suffering with fatigue beware momentum! I know I’m incredibly guilty of getting caught up in what I’m doing and overexerting myself without noticing. So always make sure to pause and check in with yourself at regular intervals to make sure you’re doing okay!